• silverstarscare

Weighing out all Care Options

My mum has needed help for a few months now. Her rheumatoid arthritis has been taking a large toll on her hands, stopping her from completing simple tasks like washing or cooking. Mentally she’s fine, just stubborn and stuck in her ways and in no way subject to change. She, like myself, is the ‘just crack on with it’ type. She has always pledged independence, liked her own space, and never has trouble voicing an opinion. Mother and daughter alike, we were both completely in denial to her physical state deteriorating.

You often get stuck in thinking your parents are invincible, and that they’ll never grow old and vulnerable and need assistance. You’ve been lucky enough to grow up with parents in perfect health, but now luck is wearing thin. It’s time for me now to weigh out all options of getting her the care that she needs, without turning the life she’s known for 50 years upside down.

Immediately, when you think care, your mind goes straight to residential homes. 24 hour care in a hostel-like space, surrounded by those you’ve never met, subject to participation in activities. It’s a sweet thought, thinking of my mum constantly interacting with those similar situations with constant caregivers on site. But, if I were to waltz in to her 3 bedroom town house and explain to her my intention to sell it and place her in a care home, I’m almost certain she’d dish out a few unpleasantries, and some!

So I’m ruling out a care home, perhaps for the sake of my own relationship with my mum. Knowing she wants to stay put, I have a few options left to consider…

A live in carer? Someone that will be with my mum 24/7. Not only do I truly believe my mums strong vocal presence shall have this carer fed up within 1 week of living with her, I don’t think my mum needs someone there all the time.

Back to the drawing board, perhaps just someone that pops in? A domiciliary carer that’ll just come into do some light hoovering, the dishes, rally with her opinions, make her a tea. Now we’re on the right track..

But how on earth do I choose the right company? Theres a google search between me and 10 local care companies, but I’d like someone confident, experienced, chatty (or willing to have their ears chatted off)...

Part 2 Coming Soon

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